


When she loved me

by Lilyann22



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3409106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilyann22/pseuds/Lilyann22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She left me. And I still wait for her. Missing her.</p><p>Lalnasounds songfic.</p><p>Song: When she loved me-Toy story 2</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missing her

**Author's Note:**

> so the first chapter is kinda depressing but there is a happy ending!

Songfic

 

**When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful.**

I remember back in the good ol’ days when Kim was still here with me.

 

**Every hour we spent together lives within my heart.**

In times like these I would sit down and think of her. If she was here she would be trying her best to lift my spirits just like I would lift hers if she was sad.

 

**And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears;**

She always knew the best ways to make me happy. She was always there.

 

**And when she was happy, so was I,**

 

If only she were here now. I chuckle as I imagine her reaction if she saw me right now, sitting alone by the magic circle in a mess. She would shout at me and frown at the state of me, lab coat covered in grime and dirt, hair, long and messed up and up to the neck with flux.

 

**When she loved me**

 

It had been a long time since she left. Longer than when she stayed here. Oh, how I miss her.

 

**Through the summer and the fall, we had each other that was all.**

I loved- no, love- her. And she loved me. It was too late when I noticed.

 

**Just she and I together like it was meant to be.**

I remember each night I spent with her as we comforted each other when we woke up from a nightmare in tears.

 

**And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her,**

****

The last words she told me before she left were: _Duncan Jones! How could you do this to me? Had you not noticed how much I love you?_ But that was before she saw me for who I really am, a monster.

 

**And I knew that she loved me.**

I cried myself to sleep, just like most of the nights I spend without her, which was every night since she left. I dreamt of the times when she was still here with me.

 

_Flashback_

 

_The flux was slowly covering her body and making her more aggressive but she always fought it and the flux never affected me as bad as it affected her._

**So the years went by, I stayed the same.**

**But she began to drift away.**

_Then one morning I woke up and there was blood all over my hands and my vision has red. I woke up in the lab and dead villagers were all around me. Kim came rushing down when she heard me scream. She saw the scene and everything changed. The flux had finally taken over some of my actions. But she looked at me as if I was a monster._

**I was left alone.**

_She left me in the lab. She called me a monster, a demon, a mad scientist. Since then I had waited for her to return, she never did. The thing I regret the most? Not letting her know about my feelings for her. Now I have no feelings, I never feel any emotions anymore._

**Still I waited for the day when she’d say, “I will always love you.”**

I’ve never heard from her since.

 

**Lonely and forgotten, never thought she'd look my way,**

 

I had dreamt that she was still here.

 

**And she smiled at me and held me just like she used to do,**

**Like she loved me, when she loved me.**

**When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful.**

**Every hour we spend together, lives within my heart.**

 

 

I sobbed into the cold tiles of the magic circle, missing her laugh, her smile, the way she snored a little bit when she slept. 

 

**When she loved me.**

 


	2. Missing him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim misses Duncan and is seriously desperate to get him off her mind.
> 
> Song: Six degrees of Separation-The Script

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's going to be a three shot now because i couldn't do it in 2... anyways hope you enjoy this short story!

 

_You've read the books,_

_You've watched the shows,_

_What's the best way no one knows, yeah,_

_Meditate, get hypnotized._

_Anything to take from your mind._

_But it won't go, ohhhh ohhh_

_You're doing all these things out of desperation,_

_Ohhh ohhh,_

_You're going through six degrees of separation_

At first I thought, _“How could he do that to me?”_

And when I left him in tears I thought, _“Maybe I was a bit harsh.”_

And now, after almost a year of not living with Duncan, yeah, I’m starting to go a bit insane, a bit crazy and starting to miss him. _A lot._

_You hit the drink, you take a toke_

_Watch the past go up in smoke, yeah_

_Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that,_

_You're better now than ever, and your life's okay_

_When it's not. No._

_You're doing all these things out of desperation,_

_Ohhh ohhh,_

_You're going through six degrees of separation._

 

And I’ve started doing witchery and magic to get him off my mind for a while but it’s not going to happen is it? The stupid idiot has a special place in my heart, and I sometimes hate myself so much for leaving him.

 

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

_And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little_

 

Maybe I should’ve stayed and heard him out, maybe I shouldn’t have left him. Now everyday I miss him, everyday I regret my actions. At first it wasn’t that bad, I mean, I’ve lived without him before it just hurt to know he did such a thing. Then reason hit me like a brick and guilt crawled up to my heart. When everything was better I visited Hannah just to see a friend again, and she told me that Duncan, the stupid idiot, was in a terrible state when she last visited him. I was worried sick, but when I flew over the thought of him having another apprentice hit me like a truck. _What if Duncan is with another apprentice? I mean he did agree to teach me quite easily and it isn’t unknown that Duncan is a mad scientist genius, though I would never admit that to his face._ And I turned right around and flew back to my shack that I built. _If that stupid idiot doesn’t care, I don’t care either._

_You tell your friends, yeah, strangers too,_

_Anyone who'll throw an arm around you, yeah_

_Tarot cards_

_Gems and stones,_

_Believing all that shit is gonna heal your soul._

_Well it's not, no, wohhhh_

 

I consulted Hannah and Zoey, sometimes flying over to them in tears, it wasn’t fair! The only one I love just so happens to be a murderer and a pyscho maniac! Why did I have to fall in love? Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with someone else? But no, obiously not. It had to be Duncan, the goofy, cute, annoying, crazy mad scientist that just so happens to be my teacher. I often got drunk and often tried spells that didn’t even work to stop the pain, to stop missing him.

 

_You're only doing things out of desperation,_

_Ohhh no,_

_You're goin' through six degrees of separation._

 

Hannah often said that I was desperate and to be completely honest, I think I am. I’m desperate to forget Duncan, to fall in love with someone else. But no, that would never happen. I’ve fallen in love and I fell deep into the void, never going to get out.

 

 

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

_And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little_

 

 

_No there's no starting over,_

_Without finding closure, you'd take them back,_

_No hesitation,_

_That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation_

_Oh, no there's no starting over,_

_Without finding closure, you'd take them back,_

_No hesitation,_

_That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation_

I tried teaching myself. Even tried looking for a new teacher.  Nilesy had offered to teach me but I don’t really want to know how to make pools or sell pool supplies. Hannah does the exact same witchery stuff like me. Rythian wouldn’t ever teach me because I’m apparentally, “Still a part of Duncan’s group”. No teacher, no proper learning.

 

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart_

_What's gonna kill you is the second part_

_And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle_

_And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself_

_Fifth, you see them out with someone else_

_And the sixth, is when you admit you may have fucked up a little_

_No, no, there ain't no help_

_It's every man for himself_

_You're goin' through six degrees of separation_

_No, no, there ain't no help_

_It's every man for himself_

_You're goin' through six degrees of separation_

I cry myself to sleep all the time and often wake up from nightmares, this time without Duncan to be there to comfort me.

_Why Duncan, why? I miss you, really, badly, miss you…_


	3. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The line between love and hate is thin...

_Wait a minute, this is bullshit!_ I shot up from my sleeping position _, Why should I be the one to cry over him? Why should I be the one to leave? No, I’ve had enough, I’m going to go and check on him, not because I care, because, because… OK because I care ok? Because I miss him, a lot. And I don’t care if he’s a stupid, mad scientist, murderer because I still love him. Plus I need some help with this flux._

I flew straight up and crashed my head against the ceiling.

 

“Crap, that hurts!” _ok a bit too excited there._

I flew all the way to Panda Labs and I gasped at what I saw.

 

Panda Labs was in a state! There were wild weeds and plants growing into the door and there was holes everywhere, the walls, the floors.

 

_What did Duncan do after I left? I hope he’s ok…_

“Duncan? Duncan? Where are you? _Duncan?!”_

I flew around Panda Labs, desperately looking for Duncan. When I saw a broken flasks of random cemicals and flux everywhere, I flew out of there before I would get infected even worse. Mother had been getting louder and louder but I’ve been fighting her lately.

**_Duncan would be proud if he was still alive._ **

****

_Shut up! Go away! Duncan can’t die, he’s a mad scientist that can do anything and everything, like making a once heartless person like me fall in love with him… no, I have to find him!_

I landed in the garden, it seemed like the only place that was more or less intact.

 

“Duncan?” I called as I walked around the once beautiful magic garden.

 

The chalk on the circle has faded and rubbed off, and there wasn’t any of the animals in sight.

“Duncan?” I called again when I sunddenly stepped on something round and tripped over.

 

“Ow!”

 

I turned suddenly, weapon drawn, posed, ready to attack whoever was there.

 

I didn’t expect to see Duncan, on the ground, in a heap with tears on his face, I didn’t expect to see the look of pain in his eyes as he looked at me incredulously as if he couldn’t believe I was there in front of him.

 

“ _Kim?!_ ”

 

I didn’t respond, I was still baffled at the state of him. His once long mop like hair was dirty and wild. His once clean white lab coat, ripped and worn at the edges. His once prized goggles now rest on top of his head, cracked and covered in grim and dirt.

 

But still Duncan. Even after all this time, even after everything that he’s done, the second I looked at him I knew.

 

_I still love him._

 

“Kim, is that really you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s me, Duncan, I’m back.” Tears start to fill my purple eyes.

 

_How could I have left him? I knew he was going insane in his castle before I came along, I knew he would work himself to death without me here to take care of him. How could I have done that to him?_

“Oh, Duncan, I’m so, so sorry!” I cry as I run over to where he lay and raise him up to sitting position.

 

Tears stream down my face as I look at him closer. The flux was up to his neck and his once strikng blue eyes were purple and dull. I burried my face into his chest and cried over and over and kept repeating the words ‘ _I’m sorry’_ but no amount of tears or apologies could explain how horrible I felt inside.

“Hey, Kim, hey stop crying. Kim, it’s ok, I’m sorry too. It’s ok, shh, stop crying.” He whispered into my ear, just like when I would have a nightmare or a bad dream, he would always be there for me.

“It’s _not_ ok! I shouldn’t have left you! I knew you would die alone without me! I knew you wouldn’t take care of yourselfy properly! Duncan, I’m so sorry!”

 

“It’s ok Kim, if you forgive me, I’ll forgive you.” Still as forgiving as always, even after all this time

 

“I forgave you a long time ago, Duncan.” I say quietly, resting my head against his chest.

 

“I don’t even know why you’re sorry.” He chuckled.

 

“It’s nice to be back.”

 

“It’s nice to have you back.” He said it so quietly I almost didn’t hear it.

 

I sit up to look at him. His face was covered in flux. It was my fault he got infected as well.

 

“And I’m sorry that you had to see me for me… The crazy killer scientist.” He looked down.

 

“Duncan, I’m sorry that I accused you before you could explain yourself. Now that I think of it, the flux was probably possessing you at the time.”

 

“I’m really afraid that you would see me as that monster I am anyways. I mean, I used animals as test subjects back at my castle.”**

 

“You might’ve been a monster, maybe you still are. But that’s why I came back. Duncan I love you for who you are, and I don’t care if you have your own demons, so do I.” _wow it wasn’t even that awkward saying that._

“Love you too Kim.” He blushed.

 

I grinned at how cute he looked.

 

I leaned down and kissed him.

 

_Even though he might have done some bad things because he was possessed, I still love him and nothing will change that._

**_And so they lived happily ever after… or did they? Love never lasts, love only brings hate. Because the line between love and hate is thin, so thin that the smallest things can make it shatter…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bold italics are Mother's voice/thoughts. Please tell me if you guys want a sequel because i noticed that this story ended on a bit of a cliff hanger... :P sorry! i will do one if you guys want one. thanks for reading this story!


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